Chin Up

The middle of the fight people, this ones for you.
Not knowing whats going on but you get punched in the jaw anyways people.
To the guys being peer pressured into fighting someone way bigger than you are.

Chin up.

For the people who are afraid to talk loud, so they tweet.
The people who try out for the team and don't make it.
The people who make the team but ride the bench.
To the people whose parents and siblings that said they cant do it, but do it anyways.

Chin up.

The girl whose boyfriend leaves her and doesn't even say why.
The boys who leave their girls, than regret it and go back, but aren't let in.
To the guys who cant even look at a girl without getting a weird look back.

Chin up.

Forgetting About Gandhi

Sometimes I get scared
I forget who I am
I forget what I am here for
What would Gandhi say?

Would he say something about how there's nobody that can judge me but my god?

Am I really as bad as I think?
When I look in the mirror and see the tears dripping from my chin into my sink
Am I really this ugly?
Am I really this skinny?
Why cant I be bigger?
Whats wrong with me?
Why couldn't my dad have played in the NFL so I got good genes?

But than I keep forgetting
What would Gandhi say?

Could he say
Nothings wrong with you
Nothings wrong with any of gods creations

But than why do I feel so depressed all the time?
Why can some people play better than me when I know I work harder?
Why do I feel good some days and terrible on others?
Why do I even care what people think about me?
They cant change me
But, neither can I?
Am I stuck in this for my entire life?

When will I know who I am?
When will I own myself completely?
I know who I am though, Right?
I am me
Son of him
Son of her
Brother to him, and him and him
Friends with them
Look at how blessed I am
Look at all I have

There's a light in my dark and dreary world and its spreading
But is the last night I will see the light?

My Journey

I wake up every mourning, look at my hands and crunch them together into fists. I roll out of bed and look at my feet, I can still move. Another day blessed. 18 years before now, I was nothing. I wasn't here. Until a brave women gave birth to a beautiful baby. Now I serve her.

3 years ago, that same women that was brave enough to give birth now can't get out of bed 5/7 days of the week. Her oldest son is incapable of the responsibility of taking care of the family. So its passed along to the second son, that's me.
I have no problem with this. She gave me life. I can help with hers.
My mother is the women I love most in this world. She is always there for me to talk even if she cant do much. She is a mentor to me.
I've gotten to the point where I have 4 sports; football, basketball, track and rugby. But when my mom cant tend for the family, someone does. That gets in the way of sports when your having to drive to and from school and to their sports.
I got bad grades last year, so this year I was faced with the decision, to play football and take my brothers to and from their things, constantly being late and having to leave early and not go to some things because I have to take my mom to and from the hospital, not to mention never having time for homework. Or I could not play till senior year and help my family out and focus on school.
I found it'd be so much better to not play for a year, even though It hurts so bad to have to watch football being played each game and knowing I cant be out there.
I was rewarded with the top training in Utah for football to prepare for next year, they bend their schedules to mine so I can do all the work even if I'm busy.
My moms recovering and has promised I will be able to play any sport I please my senior year.

Film Analysis

Remember the Titans (2000)
Ow: The T.C. Williams highschool football team have a new crew coming into town. The blacks are here to stay and want to play some football.
Call: The Titans have to share the field, not only with another team, but with the blacks of their team. Also coach Yoats gets replaced by a black, coach Boone. The Titans need to learn to win with blacks and whites.
Refusal: "I wont play for anybody but you coach." The team is not happy with the new coach or players, a lot refuse to play.
Mentor: Yoats tells them they have to, they could mess up their career if they don't play. Coach Yoats picks up an assistant coaching job to stay with the team.
Threshold: "You look at your wall and I'll look at mine." Julius says to Gary. Both captains of their own races. They cant become team mates due to their color.
Tests, allies and enemies: "Left side! Strong side, Left side, Strong side." Gary and Julius realize whats really important for the team is how they play, not what color plays.
At camp coach Boone has everyone room with a member of a different race. By that almost all become immune to the racism of the world.
Approach: Titans go undefeated with their amazing team work and team bond and make it to the playoffs.
Ordeal: Gary gets in a car crash and lost the feeling in his legs going paralyzed.
Resurrection: "Superman!" the titans take the win to go undefeated in their entire football year. Winning the championship for their lost team captain Gary.

Archetypes
Hero: Julius, He put aside everything. All of the heard heartedness and became family with Gary even when he became paralyzed he was always by his side.
Mentor: Coach Boone, With all the racism, he puts blacks and whites together and creates an unstoppable team.

Ordinary World

I'm Single, 17 years of age, 3 brothers, no sports at the moment, I play basketball, rugby, run track and football. I've never really had to do anything for myself, never payed for anything over 200 dollars of my own money. Not proud.
My worst fear, never finding success. I wake up, go to work, usual day nothing very serious or exciting. Walk home, counting my steps.
Take my key out unlock and open the door. Looking around searching, nothing there, nobody there.
Eat, put my dishes away in the wash. Get ready for bed, pajamas on and hop in bed. As I start to daze off I hear a noise, a cracking, like it was my front doors creaking. But I locked it, right? I swear I did. But all I do is grab the blanket from my bedside and throw it over myself and hurdle myself into the fetal position.
Bump, bump, click, clack. I hear the footsteps of that somebody that broke in. But it was a lot of stuttering. kind of like there were more than one. I felt myself cradling myself more and more I couldn't get out of myself. To scared, I whispered; "take whatever you want." Than my blankets tore off.
As my eyes creep open all I see is the shame and failure from my life, I see myself breaking up with that one perfect girl, myself thriving, but not for good. Those footsteps I heard were not of one, nor two or even three. Hundreds, thousands. Where did I go wrong? When did I go wrong? When did I go right? have I gone right?
I ask myself these questions as I stare myself in the face. The face not of success, but failure. Clack! My eyes creep open, it was all a dream. Was it? where is my life..

Will I ever find love?
Will I every find myself?
What is life, will I find success?

Blurb

A Whole New World (Disney Characters)
So somehow Disney characters have found a way to travel from one world to the next. How? Nobody knows, but it has been done. How do I know this you ask? well there was clearly a song written about it if your reading this right now.

Guilty Conscience (Eminem and Dr. Dre)
When your thinking about doing something bad, something wrong, something that you know your parents don't you to do or something that makes you feel cRaZy! Or you think I could do the right thing and say no. I could go do something different, well according to this song you should just shoot the angel and devil on your shoulders and not do anything.

Strange Clouds (B.O.B and Lil Wayne)
Isn't it the weirdest thing when you are out on a great summer day, at the pool, on your tramp or just looking out the window and see the strangest looking clouds? Elephants, Tigers, Lions, and even Raspberries. Oh gets me so pumped every single time I see those.

Young Wild and Free (Wiz Kalifa and Snoop Dogg)
So what we do things maybe we shouldn't? Why do we have good and bad things anyways? Why do we even put them into categories like that? Nothing is going to matter in 50 or 60 years anyways! Our planet is either going to be completely destroyed from the Apocalypse, alien invasion, or nuclear warfare so we will all be dead and than we will be in that place after this life looking up saying wow.. why didn't I be a better kid, or wow.. I would have ended up in this place anyways so why didn't I cause more ruckus?

My Story

First thing that I can remember in my life was, my first car crash. I heard stories about it but never really remember it. My mom says it was late and slick and when we hit black ice we rolled right off the road and down the hill. To bad my dad was driving or I could have made a joke about women drivers.
Ever since I was little I can't sit inside and play video games, or watch tv for more than a few hours. It's the weirdest thing to see people laze around and not do anything all day, I love to be out and doing things, sports, running, or anything.

I've broken 9 bones. I'm proud to be able to say that. 2 bones in 3 weeks, 4 bones in 1 year and 17 dislocations, 9 sprains, 3 concussions, 6 surgeries. My mom tries to make me feel good by saying I do alot of cool stuff. yeah its just because I don't think about what I'm doing.

Is this my Found Angel?

My beautiful girl
There's a problem, no
Ive got 99 problems
I cant see you
You spin around me
I wish I could grow out of this
I remember what you use to tell me
When the rain would come, we'd kiss
We could run, but we had nothing to run from
No shoes?
No shirt, Uh
But i still got service, Uh
The way you lie, but not to me
Is this an Illusion?
Every second is a Bang
When you flirt
I wanna kiss you nice
When we get what we love
When every thing is broken but us
Until I love you hard
We found love in our hopeless night
Our night starts here
Let me buy you a drink
Kiss you
Love you with my hot services
Your my best shot of love
Will you be my Angel?

Dads Old Mustache

Dear Diary,

I remember when dad would eat with me, play with me and do his Dougie with me. We would fish and fish till our skin turned red from the sun.

He would always work on machines, engines and anything that moved or operated, maybe that's why he worked on submarines.

I remember when dad was still here.
When we would go to the beach together, but now when I see the sandy beach all I can think about is how these were where his last steps were in the early June mourning in 44.

He said he would always come back.
So until then, I love you Daddy.

Sincere

Sincere love, sincere hate, sincere happiness, sincere sadness.
Sincerity is an expression of seriousness, weather it is for the good or for the bad.
Sincere compassion for somebody is like a dying care for another, like a lock made out of the finest substance in the universe locking them away from any harm.
Sincere love is like the sky, clear and happy and when things get in the way like the sun, it always passes and when it rains tear drops, it always subsides and sun shines down.
Sincerity is a loving compassion for emotion.

Rocking Out

If life stopped, light never came again, time of life is gone.
Rocking out, Life isn't to short for this though.
Rock out like you just won state with Chase Hansen.
Rock out like you just got asked to Sadies by 5 girls with Zach Sanders.
Rock out like the worlds going to end unless if you party it back to life.

Rock out like WWIII just ended and life is not over.
Rock out like you just bought a home in Hawaii and my, you love it.
Rock out like you get free ice lemonade after football practice.

Rock out like you playing football again and nothing else makes you feel more alive.

Life and Death

Life and Death,
To me, Life and Death are flipped from the usual view on them. It may sound weird, but I think its going to be even better when I die. To die means to go to a better place.
A place where nothing goes wrong, a place where everyone is loved, everyone has a place and a purpose and knows it.

If it were my last day, I would appreciate all of the beauties of the earth. I would show my mom how much I really cared about her, I would show my dad how much I appreciate all of the stories and the lessons and everything he has taught me. Show my brothers I love them too.
If it were my last day on Earth I would go with my family to the home of Hawaii. Go with my grandmother to the Hawaiian temple where her and my Grandfather got married and cherish the gorgeousness of the islands and the people of Hawaii my loved ones.

My Broken Dreams

I walk alone, I walk alone.
I see the empty field, no one on it. My empty field.
Nobody in the stands.
None on the bench.
No flashes of cameras, lights shining down on me.

I walk alone, I walk alone.
I see the weight room but its locked to me.
I see the players going, but I am not among them.

I walk alone, I walk alone.
Friday night, lights shining, fans blaring, players shouting, girls cheering.
But I cannot.
Loss of life is in me.
I have it no more, will it come again?
Know I not.
But the passion for it will never end.